Trees as props

That’s what these trees have become for me since my daughter died at the end of January. When I first had the idea, and went over to the gardens to take the January pictures, she was already dead, we just hadn’t found her yet. Since then, the trees have taken on a tangled significance – part despair, part reassurance, always powerful. I made her wedding bouquet from the second tree, a mock orange. I hope to capture this one at its best at the end of June. (Not guaranteed, though – the fabulous sweet flowers only last a very short time…)

The trees have propped up my blog too. I didn’t want it to stop altogether but there really weren’t any words. So the trees have been a kind of bookmark, holding me in place – significant, but neutral at the same time.

I have been spinning. And dyeing just a little. I might even be making progress with WordPress – but that is also not guaranteed – I really hate these block layouts and the Smug Message constantly tells me I have NO RIGHT (!) to edit anything….

Proof I’m not actually winning – this should really have been a single post, connected to the April trees one below. Maybe next time…!

3 thoughts on “Trees as props”

  1. I am so sorry to read about your daughter’s death. I find it difficult to express my feelings of sorrow for you and/or family remotely through this comment box (it seems so inadequate and impersonal) but am sending my love your way and hope it makes the tiniest of difference xx

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    1. Thank you so much, Christina – it does make a difference, the warmth is greatly appreciated. It took me weeks to find any words myself – and I couldn’t look back at my post once I’d made it real – hence the delay in spotting your comment. I will get there though, with or without those trees!

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  2. Thank you so much for your comment on my latest post and for following me. I have done the same and added you to my blog list 🙂 This post pulls at the heartstrings. I’ll echo what Christina has mentioned in her post because it is well said and very true. Nevertheless, your sorrow has brought to mind another loss and feelings that I thought were safely tucked away. Words in this case I feel are inadequate. Just….for this moment in time and miles away, this unknown person sincerely feels your pain. Amanda

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